An identity crisis? Is this real? I went a few weeks thinking, “Who am I?” When we undergo a major change, or several major changes, we are often thrown out of our routine. Maybe our hobbies change, or we have less free time than before. Maybe all of our circumstances change, and we have to redefine what our “day-to-day” looks like. Well, this happened to me.
I was just a girlfriend, so in love with my best friend, and he made me his fiance. We decided on a 5 month engagement, and in that time, we planned the entire DIY barn wedding by ourselves, still worked full-time, and also became homeowners and renovated the home in under 1 month before our wedding.
We got married, went on a honeymoon, and a week later, went on a weekend trip to New York for Tim’s birthday. LIFE WAS CRAZY, and then all of a sudden, it calmed down. The calm is what got to me. I wasn’t planning and preparing. I wasn’t running all over the place. I had free-time. I had a house to come home to, and a husband that I woke up next to every morning. Life was….weird. “Who am I?” was the first thought that came to mind every single day. I was freaking out.
I went back to my tried and true fix-me-all of choosing 1 “activity” to try every day, and figuring out which of those brought me joy. I found that I was still in love with bubble baths. After an entire evening of failed baking with a friend, and then a week later, an entire evening of successful baking on my own, I realized that I love baking, just not in the company of others. I also love testing out new recipes. I discovered that I am slightly obsessed with podcasts, particularly, this one. I have found my love for reading again, and I of course still have a very serious relationship with the gym.
I changed my name, got all new cards, and realized who I was. First of all, I am a child of God, and that has not changed. That consistency and realization took all the anxiety and unknown and turned it into a miraculous peace and joy that I thought I had lost for much longer than a month. Then, I realized that I am a wife, a daughter, and a cousin. I am a homeowner. I am a regional manager and a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Some of my roles changed. Some didn’t. I figured out what I still loved, and what I no longer enjoyed, and the small things about each day that brought me joy.
If you have had major changes in your life, are in the midst of some of life’s milestones, or for some other reason have lost touch with who you are, I strongly encourage you to make a list of activities that you can do each day, even for 2 weeks. Try those activities, and figure out which ones bring you joy. You will love what you find, and you will find new things you love. Sometimes a little soul searching, and hobby hunting is all we need to find a sense of security in who we are.